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About Literature / Hobbyist Core Member IShouldntSayMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 1 Year
2 Month Core Membership
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Literature
The Trails
green moss on the rocks
and the trees
and the ground
the sun shining through the clouds
and the trees
and the leaves
the path weaves left and right
just as wide as my shoulders
twigs crack
leaves crunch
water drips into the puddles
birds chirp on the breeze
breeze moves the branches
the branches get me ready for the wind upon my skin
lose me in a small glade
dream of where I am now
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 2 0
Mature content
Look Away (4) :iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 1 0
Mature content
Look Away (3) :iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 1 0
Literature
Look Away (2)
I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO LOOK AWAY
so when I sleep in my car on top of a mountain
or a parking lot
no one has to see the way my neck fits on the armrest
better off in the front seat
this is not home
but it's the closest thing to anything resembling familiarity
beige cloth stained with ketchup
and smelling of fast food and a candy bar
back pack in the back seat
and the blanket with the loops
I'll sleep here till I can sleep again
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 1 0
Mature content
Look Away (1) :iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 1 0
Literature
Flying Kites
take my hand
squeeze it like in yesterday
the pressure is a deep reliever
a comfort to my pain
I remember flying kites in a field with you
I remember the way we ran to keep them in the air
I remember your childish laugh and grin
touch my face just one last time so I can live there
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 0 0
Literature
Floating On A Dream
I'm lonely in a sea of people
floating on a fantasy
that one day I will find a purpose
for all this insanity
I dream that I will find a place
where demons are not strong
where anger, pain, and loneliness
are beaten with a song
where confidence is solid
and anxiety is torn apart
depression is kept in a box
to be brought out just for use in art
but now i'm lonely in a sea of people
floating on this dream of mine
one day I will make it happen
today is the only useful time
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 3 2
Literature
Life Is Hard
Brenda's got a baby
and Millie fell off the fire escape
Jane's got an addiction
and God wasn't there for Georgia lee
I'm sitting in a desert
with nothing open, everything's frozen in time
in a moment I don't remember entering
but I'm drowning in the desert
I am nailed to the walls
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 0 0
Literature
Look At Me!
I couldn't catch you if I tried
disregard me flatly
skip past this
and never bother looking twice right at me
examine the brighter, happier
the ones with more to offer
I couldn't catch you if I tried
empty fields never prosper
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 1 0
Literature
Icarus (Battle Cries)
Battle cries!
I will not fall to an inebriation
or a lack of gentle patience
or my own self-depreciation!
I will not let the past determine my future
or destroy how I see myself
I will not let my hell
destroy what I hold dear
I have wings
even though I haven't been using them
I have dreams
even though I haven't been pursuing them
I have my faults
but I know I can get through them
and I have fire deep down
it's all I ever really had
...
take me to the cliffs and I will jump
without a question asked
no bungee, no harness
no trampoline at the bottom
my wings are folded tightly
as I fear for my very existence
and the only way to work up my incentive
is to jump...
and in the moment of icy sea breeze gusting frigidly on my face
my eyes will open freely
and I will awaken again for real
the gallows will hang below me and gravity will propel
the fire behind my eyes will be fed oxygen for once
I've always liked the rain, the flash of lightening changes moments
leathery dragon fierceness only bre
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 1 0
Literature
Fog
What the hell am I doing
why am I out here
what was the point of this?
trampolines don't grow on trees
and if they did
I still wouldn't be a kid
innocence is a lost position
wings are bogged down
the fog has long since hit
and my everything is memory
I cannot see
no lighthouse lit
on the bad days my anxiety and depression take over
on the good days I'm so high on desperation I feel sober
on the bad days I am lost in a fog of confusion and panic
and the good days don't seem real, the lighthouse cannot guide me
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 0 0
Literature
Bad Dreams
why do you follow me into dreams of apoplexy
why cant you leave me on my own in my self-pity
I crawl into this darkened corner of the galaxy
to inhabit my hollow planet without a soul
purple flashes back-light our blackened silhouettes
why do you follow me
You were never real, and the real you never called me back
you never showed up, Davey Jones and I have common ground
you're not important, and I never really knew you well
so leave my barren mind space to heal in privacy
you're not a fire, not a light, you're just a memory
why do you follow me
why can't you let the world turn without the nightmares!
why can't you you leave my mind the way you left my life!
why can't I take my red tattoo, and lessons only now!
why must I have the butterflies invade me and then die!
Tom DeLonge and I should rent a stolen rocket ship
why do you follow
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 2 0
Literature
Sink
and we sink
and we lose consciousness
follow me into the deep
follow me into my dreams
wade out into the depths where they lie
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 1 0
Literature
One Of These Days
One of these days I will make sure you understand
One of these days you’ll know the truth
One of these days I’ll show you something
And then the world will work again
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 2 0
Literature
You're Drunk
Lay me in my bed where the laundry goes
Take off my shoes before the blanket falls
Ignore my nonsensical babblings
Let sweet dreams of childlike blurs come over me
You don’t have to look back at me when you walk out
I’ll just smile and imagine it
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 0 0
Literature
The Same Old Thing
Shake me up and take me on your roller coaster
Show me what I’m missing
What the world is most
Or bury me in your knowledge
Of the world as you can see it
Breathe, be it
Or be a hypocrite to plead with
Grab me by the brain stem
Or take me by hormones
I will come to see you
If you make me feel at home
But you know what
Your ideas and your world and your trauma
Don’t make for anything better than drama
You are not the Dalai Llama
You’re just another blown speaker
Thinking that you’re saying something
But you really just blowin the over eager
There’s distortion from reality
A portion of almost tragedy
No amount of exposure is worth exposure to more of the same
It’s all the same
:iconIShouldntSay:IShouldntSay
:iconishouldntsay:IShouldntSay 1 0

Favourites

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as a Core member, I have the ability to change my page name. 
I chose my name based on a situation that was going on at the time. I'm debating changing it to something more meaningful to me currently.

think this may be a good idea? I'm not sure how many people actually look for my work, if any, and wouldn't want to cut those people off lol

also not sure if it's better to just remain with the name as i started to note how far I've come
green moss on the rocks
and the trees
and the ground

the sun shining through the clouds
and the trees
and the leaves

the path weaves left and right
just as wide as my shoulders
twigs crack
leaves crunch
water drips into the puddles

birds chirp on the breeze
breeze moves the branches
the branches get me ready for the wind upon my skin

lose me in a small glade
dream of where I am now

Mature Content

This content is intended for mature audiences.


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I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO LOOK AWAY

when the pedal hits the floor and the needle passes 80
the engine screams in protest and the brakes are in agreement
but the anger in my blood is pumping veins of hatred
fuck this town, fuck this desert
fuck the heat that burns my finger nails
if I kill a slow moving sloth on the highway causing blockage
the stroke will hit the city and I am a blood cancer cell
rev anger and hatred and every mean spirited crucifixion
course through me like a virus
and I scream out my denial
I'm trapped inside this torment
if I die, I'll get there quickly
when I get home the brakes smell of burning sulfur
the rusty ashes rain
my hands shake
I don't even want to be here

Mature Content

This content is intended for mature audiences.


or, enter your birth date.*


Month

Day

Year*
Please enter a valid date format (mm-dd-yyyy)
Please confirm you have reviewed DeviantArt's Terms of Service below.
* We do not retain your date-of-birth information.
I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO LOOK AWAY

when something very real enters my head
a wound that still bleeds
out of sight beneath my shirt
and I turn away from everything
go into full lock, freeze time
blank face
except the sneer and the desperate screaming behind it
I refuse to feel
I need to use my energy on living
and so I refuse to live this
"I'm fine"
meanwhile the infection is spreading through me
I don't trust any of you, don't trust myself
walls up
don't fucking look at me
the desert crawls into my eyes and down my throat
I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO LOOK AWAY

so when I sleep in my car on top of a mountain
or a parking lot
no one has to see the way my neck fits on the armrest
better off in the front seat
this is not home
but it's the closest thing to anything resembling familiarity
beige cloth stained with ketchup
and smelling of fast food and a candy bar
back pack in the back seat
and the blanket with the loops
I'll sleep here till I can sleep again
as a Core member, I have the ability to change my page name. 
I chose my name based on a situation that was going on at the time. I'm debating changing it to something more meaningful to me currently.

think this may be a good idea? I'm not sure how many people actually look for my work, if any, and wouldn't want to cut those people off lol

also not sure if it's better to just remain with the name as i started to note how far I've come

deviantID

IShouldntSay's Profile Picture
IShouldntSay
IShouldntSay
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
I write poems and songs as a way of coping and understanding the world. I've been told it's a talent. it's a gift, a gift for me. without it, I would be so lost.

I also have a youtube where I post the songs I have done, hip-hop. check it out at www.youtube.com/channel/UCS07M…
Interests

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:icontsahel:
tsahel Featured By Owner May 30, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for the fav ! :D
Reply
:iconxxskullcandy713xx:
XxSkullcandy713xX Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2017  Student Writer
Hi there! Thank you for joining :iconxx-book-worms-xx: I'm so glad you decided to become a part of our group! I hope you enjoy your stay with us, if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask me ^^

:bulletgreen: Please look at this -> fav.me/db2i8tb for information on folders :bulletgreen:

Have fun and enjoy your stay with us at Xx-Book-Worms-xX :D
Reply
:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for the watch!:heart:
Reply
:iconishouldntsay:
IShouldntSay Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for creating the art
Reply
:iconthelunalily:
TheLunaLily Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
:hug:
Reply
:iconab39z:
ab39z Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for the +fave and +watch, but I don't have time to do commissions for free any longer.
Reply
:iconishouldntsay:
IShouldntSay Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
ok, just wondered. thanks for gettin back to me =)
Reply
:iconalina-ay:
alina-ay Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2017
Thank you!
Reply
:iconcattyletsplayagame:
CATtyletsplayagame Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2017  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
THANKS FOR THE FAV!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconishouldntsay:
IShouldntSay Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
welcome!
Reply
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